Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
