We're facebook friends in real life
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
