Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
