I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Randomize
