that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Can't talk, ducks in the car
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
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