haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
what day is it and did you see me today?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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