it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
We left the knife in your bed.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
