So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
