Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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