Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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