Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
