Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
When did angry sex become our thing?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
