i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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