Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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