sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
