Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
