I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
All the doctor said was why
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
