every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
