i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
