At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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