I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
