Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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