I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
