her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
