and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
