i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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