If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
