Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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