and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
