I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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