i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
