it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
