I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
