I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
