PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
