You made me cry and you don't even care
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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