And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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