I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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