i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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