I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
