Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
