We're facebook friends in real life
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
