for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
