I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
