Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
