Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Oh god it's open bar.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
