I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
