eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
