Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
