We won't sleep together?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
