He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
