Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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