my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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