Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i love accidental penises.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
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