we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I just found puke in my bra..
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
