why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Randomize
