Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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