I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
